DISCLAIMER: To introduce your club committee this year, the fool in charge of the website has employed ChatGPT to write the bios. With only a tad of human input, the results are interesting and an insight into technology’s cricketing knowledge. Enjoy:
The birds are singing, the sun is (sort of) shining, and someone’s already lost a ball in the hedge — must be cricket season! And behind every glorious edge, run-out mix-up, and rogue sausage roll is this fine bunch, keeping the club ticking like a lovingly oiled scoreboard.
Mark Flemington
Chair
Once a player, now a statesman. Mark has gracefully transitioned from patrolling the outfield to presiding over the committee with warmth, calm, and just the right amount of “is this really necessary?” He’s the face of the club at all the big moments — AGM speeches, junior presentations, and occasionally helping carry the gazebo. His mission? More cricket, more community, fewer emails.
Paul
Eames
President
The club’s spiritual guru. Paul has seen more cricket than most of us have seen daylight. Still allergic to beer, but we love him anyway. His presence at the boundary is reassuring — like a cricketing lighthouse guiding us all away from disaster and toward the pavilion.
Ed
Wesson
Secretary
The undisputed Master of Minutes, keeper of the constitution, and the man who actually reads the ECB guidance emails. Ed quietly makes sure everything works, everyone turns up, and nobody forgets that one vital form. Off the pitch, he’s hunched over a laptop. On the pitch, he’s hunched behind the stumps, chirping away like a caffeinated parrot. Hero.
Francis
Booth
Treasurer and Head of Junior Cricket
Our money man and junior cricket overlord. Francis balances spreadsheets like a Wall Street banker and corrals dozens of cricket-hungry kids like a caffeinated Pied Piper. He’s the mastermind behind the club’s next generation, fuelled by cones, squash, and possibly wizardry. If a 9-year-old has ever told you where mid-off is, thank Francis.
Ben
Harrison
Team Secretary
The man who knows everyone’s availability before they do. With flowing locks and fingers of fury, Ben sends more WhatsApp messages than a teenage pop group. He manages matchday availability like a concert promoter with a clipboard. Unflappable, unstoppable, and occasionally spotted screaming “ANYONE FREE TO PLAY?!” into the void.
James Waters
Fixture Secretary
James is the wizard behind the calendar, conjuring fixtures from thin air and making sure weekends are filled with the gentle thwack of willow on leather (and, inevitably, plastic chairs being blown over). His spreadsheet game is elite, his fixture foresight unmatched. No one quite knows how he does it — we suspect sorcery.
Ben
Brandt
1st XI Captain
Still batting, still scoring, still yelling “YES… NO… WAIT!” in the middle of the wicket. Fresh off winning the 2024 Batting Cup, Brandt leads by example, usually from the front, occasionally from mid-on, always with charm. Captain, run machine, and occasionally found arguing with umpires in the politest possible tone.
Chris
Pannell
2nd XI Captain
The People’s Skipper. Chris doesn’t just captain the 2s — he’s the heartbeat of the side. In 2024, he was crowned both Players’ Player and 2nd XI Player of the Year, confirming what we already knew: the guy is loved, reliable, and low-key brilliant. Tactical on the field, supportive off it, and the first name on everyone’s hypothetical dream XI. Also brings top-tier snacks.
Tristan
Price
Group and Local Rep
Our community compass and official representative to the outside world. Tristan is the reason we’re looped in with local events, Rec Ground meetings, and village happenings. He bridges gaps, joins dots, and quietly ensures we don’t accidentally schedule a match during the village fête again. Diplomatic, dependable, and armed with a clipboard.
Pat Green &
Ollie Crees
Social Secretaries
The unofficial ministers for fun. Pat and Ollie are the masterminds behind every quiz night, themed evening, and social shenanigan you didn’t know you needed. Their enthusiasm is infectious, their events unforgettable, and their ability to persuade grown adults into fancy dress frankly unmatched. If something fun is happening, they’re probably behind it. Or in it. Or both.
Speldhurst Cricket Club 